So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
