you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
