Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
