i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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