I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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