R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
