hotel room ftw
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
