You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
