I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
