um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
