i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
