And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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