yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
