woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
