The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
