After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
