I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
