You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
