this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
