Where did you get a picture of my penis
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
