So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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