i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
