do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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