Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
