haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize