why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
