I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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