Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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