Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't think brook has ever known best
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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