is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Who died my cat blue again?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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