isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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