please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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