you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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