Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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