I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
