I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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