Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize