Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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