I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize