I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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