hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
