I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I need moral support for this bender
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
