you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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