I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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