your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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