Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
