4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He felt like a one man threesome
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
