I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the night ended with taco bell and tears
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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