we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
