after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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