Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
