I must be too annoying 4 u.
...so i touched it.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize