apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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