I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
