i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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