How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
