Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
