I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
the raccoons are back...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
