Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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