We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
