Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
