I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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