my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
