You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I want her autograph on my taint
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
