yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
