the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
babies were throwing up all over the place
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
