Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize