I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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