i think i have herpe
just one?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
