I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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