omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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