You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize