I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
