Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
