I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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