You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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