If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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