Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
