I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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